I’m not going to say this is the biggest waste of money ever (that honor goes to restaurants in Italy which refuse to serve tap water and instead charge $4 for a small bottle of spring water which doesn’t taste nearly as good as tap water). Nor am I going to say this is the biggest waste of time ever. That honor goes to the United States Post Office for retaining the title of the last remaining postal service on earth to use a line instead of numbers for customer service.
But I will say, if I paid a dollar more than the €5 each we spent to see this gigantic bullshit marketing mall I’d slit my wrists. Well, actually I wouldn’t because we ate pizzas at the on-site Eataly for literally 66% less than what we pay for the exact same pizzas at Eataly in NYC. So we kind of made up for the difference.
But if I did pay the €39 per person price, I’d be beyond furious.
Approximately 50 countries each erected (I’m using this word intentionally because it ties perfectly into the next phrase) a building to showcase their contributions to food and sustainability (this year’s theme). Shockingly (not really) it’s basically another excuse for the world powers to showcase phallic size, except with an architectural twist. The biggest, wealthiest countries build these massive structures that could have been better used to house the worlds homeless. Instead, there are filled with displays better suited to a website or brochure. Lots of Jumbotrons filled with images of country leaders, people in traditional dress, animals. If National Geographic was charged with making incredibly dull photographic powerpoints it would still turn out more interesting.
And of course the poorer or smaller countries were relegated to structures worthy of smaller penises.
This is basically a more elaborate and only slightly cheaper Epcot. Each country has a shop, a restaurant and just enough on display to pretend its not some massive commercial PR mall.
With that said, there were a few interesting elements. The United States had the coolest waterfall that emitted water in shapes including letters. The UK had this gigantic metal hive that made strange sounds if you stood right in the middle.
If this was the reason we got plane tickets for $500 less than usual per person, well then I’m grateful for the Expo. Other than that, it’s a major pass for the rest of my life.